This is one of those posts I don’t know how to begin. Usually I know how to begin, then circle around ending, until it hits me right. This one, the opposite. I know the end. Don’t know how to get you there. The end in this story? An orgasm. And I don’t know how to get you there.

But by all means, can you please somehow get there?

I don’t quite comprehend what the problem is here. I never knew there is a problem. I tend to not really discuss people’s sexual lives, unless they ask me a specific question, opinion. When I say people, I say women. Guys pretty much know how to get there. Is there any quality there or its just a gym session, I’ll leave it to them and their partners.

But women? Why do women have such issues with sex? And how long’s this been going on? I for sure did not notice, until few months ago. Everywhere I went, all the issues that appeared; smaller and insignificant, or big and friendship ending types – there was a lack of sex later discovered.

Coincidence or conspiracy? You tell me.

Is it times? Society we live in at the moment, online bullshit, attention seeking? I don’t accept that. It’s on you to succumb to those novelties or not. I don’t. I don’t “accept”, these are the times. Create your own. There are people that do not take into this. Don’t be lazy and join the mass. Resist. Reject. Find your own.

I really do think women got lost along the way somewhere here. 70 % of my female friends are not having sex. 2 years without sex? Why? Because I want to get married. Divorced. Not having sex. Why? I live in a small town, I’m afraid what people might say (ARE WE STILL ON THIS? You’re scaring me). I’m married but I have a kid now and that’s much more important, and my husband is gross. Why? He’s watching porn every night. But is he trying to have sex with you? Yes. And you say no? Yes I say no because he’s gross and is watching porn. But what came first, woman? Catch 22. You say no. And he still does not go out to fuck someone else, he’s watching porn, and trying with you, every night. Yes. But porn. Christ! I was married but we were separate and I noticed he really doesn’t want to have sex and he was saying he’s tired all the time, so I said ok and went my way, then I figured out he was seeing someone else. It was fine? Woman, are you serious, and it’s never fucking fine.

And all would be good if these women keep it in. Do what you like, but keep it in. No. But they take this out. All the frustration come knocking whenever they see a woman free spirited, unburdened, with guys approaching. And it’s really really getting tiresome.

Women (this goes for some men too) will not be jealous at your looks, body, face, appeal – as they will resent you for your free spirit. They want to be the types who are uninhibited, free, not caring about what others will say but truly caring only about their own happiness – some just can’t – and here comes trouble.

Where is this insanity going? Hiding your fears into – I’m waiting for marriage, I’m waiting for love? What is love exactly? How does the love manifest? How do you know or explain love? Why are you afraid of wanting someone? If you need to chose one; what would you chose – having love without lust, or lust without love? And I ask you again, what is love?

What do you remember most in your life, when you reminisce your past?

Love is all around. Your parents love you. Some of your friends love you. Your siblings love you. That’s love too. What is love? They take care of you. They do stuff for you. They help you, unconditionally. They are there for you. You feel this love.

A man is all that, too. But what a man can do, on top of all of that, none of these people above can. Now, to be straight here, I’m not talking about lame sex, between two strangers, where there’s nothing happening. You don’t need to do that. You can go to a gym instead. I’m talking about connecting with a human being. We can’t connect with a lots of people. But once in a blue moon, those few times in life that you connect with someone, and that path from recognizing the connection to the first time you touch eachother and it feels right – life is worth living on those moments alone. Even if you don’t do anything else, don’t achieve much – but having few of those in life, isn’t that worth living?

Listen to the old people. They already have been through what we’re still going to. All of the older women I talked to, they always say the same exact thing – I wish I gave a chance to more men, I wish I connected more, I wish I kissed more.

Why are you frustrating yourself, and people around you? In these situations, there are many answers you’re seeking a question to.

Did you tell me what I asked you above? What is love exactly? Explain it to me? With actual words?

Now tell me what is this called: in a sea of unimportant people, random faces you see every single day, they are nameless, faceless; then someone appears, and when you see each other, the need you have for this person, regardless of circumstances – it demands of you, it militates, it almost tyrannizes you (no one said it better than Marquis De Sade).

How do you call this exactly? And what is love?

See I think that’s the problem here. Women dividing love and sex, and love is kind, and sex is lame or aggressive or power play or someone uses someone, and I think that’s bullshit. It’s because you did that, you are where you are. One does not cancel the other. And it’s the lame society you listen that forced you into a submission of thinking you shouldn’t enjoy sex and you should wait for that husband and love (still waiting for you to define the actual aspects of love and what does that means exactly), without experimenting, enjoying, living, tying to even figure out who you are and what you want from this world.

Love (still waiting…) is great. Should we ever define what that actually is.

But having a need for someone, isn’t that the highest form?

What was the most famous love story ever told? Which one is your favorite? Anna Karenina. Mine. Why? Isn’t that lust not love you say? See, I don’t agree. And this takes me to passion. Passion lives between love and sex. Love is calm, sweet, rewarding. Just sex is physical, it demands nothing from us, if we don’t want it to. But passion is inevitable. Passion is not physical. It starts in the mind and manifests on the body.

Why are you denying yourself that? Because of the love or husband? I never ever wish you to find it, without being tyrannized with passion; and having such a need for a another human being, that having to catch a breath of air seems like its keeping you away from being consumed in each other!


Miranda Vidak
Miranda Vidak

Artist, designer, writer; Founder & Editor in chief of Moodytwin; Creative Director at Vidak Studio. Penchant for spying on the society, its culture & its trends.

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